Movie Review: The Day the Earth Stood Still

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL
Main Players: Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Connelly, Kathy Bates, et al.
Calling the shots: Scott Derrickson
Running time: 103mins
What's it about? An alien in the form of Keanu Reeves arrives on Earth with a robot named G.O.R.T. Is this an invasion or a warning of some kind? It becomes apparent that he is here to exterminate us for the way we treat the Earth. Enter scientist Jennifer Connelly to try and convince him that “we can change”. Blah!

What did I think? Okay, okay, so even the plot sounds terrible. But the trailer looked good, alright? Oh how terribly misguiding it was as; ladies and gentlemen! Here lies quite possible the worst movie you are ever likely to see.

Where to start; asides from the flimsy plot, the flow of the film is completely non-existent. Usually films will have its ups and downs. A big action scene might bring the excitement. Then it might tail off and be lifted again when the emotions run high with a dramatic scene. This has none of that! It’s the most monotone film you will see. It’s like a car that’s never able to get out of first gear. It feels like the film ends with out anything REALLY happening. Sure there are things on the screen, but there’s no emotion.

The performances are just as bland. Keanu Reeves does his usual expressionless schtick (which the roll probably calls for) but his face literally doesn’t change until he is forced to squint because wind blows in his face. Jaden Smith, who was so adorable and cute in ‘Pursuit of Happyness’ is just completely annoying and Jennifer Connelly phones it in like she’d rather be somewhere else (and who’d blame her?).

The only thing that was mildly amusing was the special effects. Watching a truck and a stadium disintergrate is about all the excitement there is. The rest is essentially dumb characters and worse dialogue; with splatters of unnecessary product placement, pointless biblical references and a “go green” message.

Two things happened that rarely happens to me: a). I almost fell asleep (and it was from fatigue) and b). I was ready to walk out about twenty minutes into the film. If that’s not saying something, I don’t know what is. Seriously, the only things I enjoyed were: my Raspberry choc top (mmmmmm) and when the lights came on. Avoid this like the plague! (And THAT is not a biblical reference!)

5% (it gets credit for even making it to the big screen)